Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Day 5 - I am scared

It is day 5, a short post this morning because I have lots a nice chilled things to do, including my relaxation class this morning at the FORCE centre. I am looking forward to my visit there as I will be in a place that understands me and my illness and I suppose a feeling of safety.

It is has finally, after 5 days hit home that I am fighting and battling for my life. I woke up today and realised this is it, the most important fight of my life begins today and one I have to win - F"*k !

I have been living in a denial for a few days with the pain of the tonsil but as that goes away the realisation drifts away the facts are plain, what happens in the next 24 hours, then the next 6 months are bottom line life threatening.

From 2 months ago a life which had found a spiritaul hapiness and a new career and home to a life which another force is trying to rip away from me and my children and my friends. Now that is scarey, I have to face my own mortality and it is staring back at me.

I wish I could write something witty, funny, scarcastic, but hey this morning it is hard, so hence only the short blog entry so that I can write something more lucid and upbeat later.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

Anonymous said...

Hi my darling, You are fighting for your life,thats the bottom line. But we are all in your corner, we all love and care about you, we will be there when needed. The medical profession will be giving you the best they have. This battle is going to be won by you,through determination, positive thought, and the friendship and love of us all.
YOUR MY MAN OF THE YEAR x

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you everyday. Take care and be strong.
Jillx