Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Day 61 - The fish are dead long live the King

It was nice of my three fish all to die on exactly the same day, exactly the same time! I am sure their death had nothing to do with the changing of the water and clean up operation 24 hours earlier! The death of three fish creates a major headache for me. How the hell am I going to get three identiical fish and fool my Children that their father killed "Moby, Speed and Nemo" all in one go through his liberal use of swimbladder treatment!

The trouble in they are stripey, not bland gold, but bloody stripey. I was able to bluff my way around the death of the last fish, but three could be a bit of a challenge. I can imagine them in 20 years time at University parties drunk and in tears and saying "my father was useless he even killed my fish" The best advice is not to inform Children that their daddy killed the fish but to bluff, "they were too big so I gave them to someone who have a pond...or next doors cat has eaten them, or I swapped them for these new shiny minnow types" I think my illness is insignificant compared to bluffing my children, so any ideas would be welcome.

Whilst I was thinking what to do and getting my normal fishy advice from "Aqua man" Kevin Mitchell I managed to secure 3 huge bottles of "Oramorph" from the Doctors at the hospital. That is some large dose of Morphine! The secret is have it just before you eat in relative pain free although it does make you feel sick.

The pain in my throat varies, and when the painkillers wear off it is like being stabbed in the neck, eating is impossible and swallowing is just pointless!

Anyway off to Pets at Home to try and find some shiny glow in the dark minnows!

10 comments:

mazzagee said...

First of all honesty is always the best policy where children are concerned. If you own up to your own weaknesses with children they will not only respect you more when they reach uni but they will learn to understand that to err is only human and they will not feel worthless when they make mistakes. Well you did ask for it. Just tell them that Daddy needs to learn a bit more about looking after fish. Take them to the fishy shop to choose new fish for themselves, it will be a new adventure for them. It will also be better for them as they will be able to learn how to care for the fish along with you. A whole new experience which you can all share together, much more important than worrying how upset they might be at the loss of the other fish. They could also think up new names, and one day you can all laugh together about the time daddy told the truth to them about how useless he was at looking after fish. But how you all learned how to do it properly together. An experience shared will never be forgotten.

L said...

Hi Nigel

What a pickle! I suggest the purchase of three plain goldfish and one black marker pen (waterproof). Failing that one of my business contacts is a tattooist who likes a challenge :)

Happy Friday.

L

L said...

Hi Nigel

What a pickle! I suggest the purchase of three plain goldfish and one black marker pen (waterproof). Failing that one of my business contacts is a tattooist who likes a challenge :)

Happy Friday.

L

Nigel said...

I think I will go for the fish replacement option!

Orpah said...

I would go down the honesty road, never forget finding out about 10 years after the event that my first beloved pony wasn't in fact enjoying a happy retirement in Wales but was in fact in pony heaven!

Liking the marker pen idea though and really think you should think about getting some slightly less orange fish next time :-) x
x

Nigel said...

Orp sorry to hear about your Pony but if we all keep quiet I can scam this one!

Orpah said...

U reckon?! Well you can always take the kids to mum's they can catch their own..... they'll have hours of entertainment and you can watch from the lounger!

Anonymous said...

While cleaning the aquarium in the middle of winter(North Carolina can get cold) I put my husbands beloved red-tailed black shark into a bowl of nice fresh rainwater. Well....the fish turned white and went belly up. It would have helped if I had let the water get to room temp. For a week I heard "You killed my shark"
I have a way with animals. Once scared the cocktiel to death by dropping a can of coffee on the counter. Again it was my husbands bird and he sat on the side of the bed with the bird in his hand saying "You killed my homey"
Honeybunch (friend of battypatty)

battypatty said...

well, if we are getting into the "killing the animals thing" I once told my 2 boys, with great solemnity, that their fish ( 1 each) had died and we were going to bury them at sea. Ok, we were going to put it down the toilet pan but hey, it all leads to the sea. Imagine the looks on their faces when one started swimming around the toilet bowl! I duly fished ( >groans) it out and put it back in the fish tank but it was a brief respite and it "died again". This time it was buried in the garden!!!!! When I go to NC to see my HB I am not staying at her house! LOL

Mick W said...

Hi Nigel,
Sorry, No help to you with fish but I have recently cornered the market in 'Burying your cat while you are on holiday' Its happened to me twice. The first time I found myself burying a black cat, assisted by two women with long black hair, in the dark on Halloween. (it was my mother in laws cat!)The second time i noted with a smile how 'Ella' had been sitting in the sun so peacably while I mowed my neighbours lawn the day before they returned from a relaxing break. I knew she was deaf I thought but had not realised she was that deaf. I reached over to stroke her. Stiff as a board. One more day and I'd have made it! Still I'm on a (C)hat trick now?