When I was at primary school to get to the shop in the morning we use to cut through the pub car park. I always remember we use to press the top of Whitbread Bitter kegs and get our fingers covered in bitter. We must of stank of beer when we went to School. I was easily led :)
The last 2 days have reminded me of the fizz and froth the beer use to through up our arms, no real ale then. My body has been forcing this white pasty froth into my mouth, and swallowing eases it for a short while before, then reappears ripping my throat open with bile and scar tissue in a sickness I would not wish on anyone.
This weekend I can honestly say has been the worse in my life, most of it in bed, all of it in pain, the only joy seeing my two beautiful children who without them I would of given up this fight weeks ago.
There is nothing witty, sexy, funny, obtuse, eccentric I can think of tonight, apart from I will talking to those close to me about tube feeding, my body is week without food, a throat which is closing and sore and ripped apart, will not last 2 weeks without serious damage and the short term loss of having a nasal tube will have long term gains.
Food and fluid will then be taken care of alllowing me to use all of my energy to fight the weeks ahead.
The ferryman x
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2 comments:
hi there Nigel. Hang in there. I've seen the results an NG tube can have. Aimee would not be where she is today without the tube keeping her body going. You need to concentrate all your strength on fighting this evil thing that has taken over your life.
Take care and remember you have a lot of people rooting for you and we all care deeply for you.
Big hugs.
School's out for summer so let me know when you need some company and tlc and I'll come up and stay.
Bye for now
Jillx
Feeding tubes are superb at 'filling up the tank'. However, vomiting while a feeding tube is in place is vile indeed. In my experience you can throw the tube up/out. So, my advice, find a quack willing to tube feed you inbetween chemo treatments to give your throat a rest from trying to process hard food, and remove it when you're actually in that 48 hour(ish) period when you're going to chuck what is in your stomache anyway just after chemo. By the sounds of your diary you're nearly there, keep plodding towards your finishing post, 'remission' is a wonderful word.
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