Day 20/21

As you get better you want to do more but it is catch 22 more exercise, more tired, more exercise more calories you burn. But getting on the scales this morning I was fairly fixed on 80kgs some where I have been for nearly 2 weeks.

I have read Bob Champions book and of course followed the plight of Lance Armstrong but I am aware of a healthy recovery needs good diet, which I now have, rest and recovery which I have the rest but sleep is still disturbed I suppose it will for a time, and exercise.

I decided yesterday to start walking again, a mile one day, mile and one tenth the next, one two tenths the day after. The whole aim to reduce stress, reduce time spent at home chilling, but putting it towards a good exercise regime. I will listen to my body, but my body is telling me you are getting better, but beware not to overdo.

So today I have walked 1.02 miles in 26 mins, stopping only twice to read things and over 2500 steps. I feel very proud of myself. In essence it is no more than I use to do but the time I get back to work in 25 days time I will hopefully up to 3 miles day. More than I ever use to do in a day to be honest at work.

I am no Lance Armstrong or Bob Champion but both of them showed early return to physical exercise was certainly mentally stimulating and stress relieving enough to help recovery. When I was running the endorphins realised were awesome and made me sleep for hours, one thing I would bag for at the moment is 6 hours sleep.

One of the things I find hard at the moment is the pain of people saying you look well, my voice gets croaky after talking too much later in the day and lethargy does close in, but that's what I want to help me sleep. My body is playing a trick at the mo in bed, when I drift off to sleep, a tickly cough appears, causing mayhem, so when I relaxed my body rebels! Although I find myself more laid back about day to day events than I ever was and clear that I have lost some of the stress before.

I am very excited about 2 new things in my life, one is a new house, madness I hear you cry the other is I am going on holiday! Yes a new house, well it is hard to explain but living in a fantastic rented house with great views is fairly awesome but its not secure as the owners could sell at anytime. The other benefit is that I will be closer to my children and of course in 6 weeks time I will be much better, fitter and sounder in mind with more of my life back. I suppose its about life changes I love my job and have no intention of giving up but the short time I have with my children at weekends its important to make the most of the time I have. In addition its mine a root, the long term survival rates for these things are good and with a settled life style things will be much calmer and cheaper!

I have booked to go away on holiday to Wales the week after next, normal holidays are out of the question because of my diet for a few months but one in the new improved camper are not. I have booked 5 nights away in the camper van and on the same site as my sister for the safety net I am sure I will not need but crucial support just in case. Its my first proper holiday for a while, and one week before my joint head and neck clinic when I will know whether things were a success. I am sure they will be. I have a yearning for my van to me she is normality and I like normality!