Thursday, November 03, 2016

Cancer milestones - 1 down 1 to go

Today is my son's 18th birthday. William L Gooding was born at 0323 on the 3/11/1998.  In the dark days of 2005 I set myself the goal that I needed to live long enough with my cancer to see my children, Will, then 7 and Ellen then 4 reach adulthood in the UK that is 18.

Setting milestones during cancer are important, post treatment they are vital.  My lifestyle post cancer treatment has changed.  Changed to give me a fighting day to see milestone 1, milestone 2 seeing Ellen becoming an adult at 18 in 2 and half years time.

I wanted to live to see my son and daughter both get to 18.  I am 50% there.

This week has been mentally traumatic as I reached that milestone.  There is a natural guilt to say why me, what did I do to deserve to live 11 plus years after treatment when those around me died.  Then part of the "so what" kicks in and you thank your lucky stars that you have had 11 extra years to your life. My mind has been racing towards this this self imposed milestone, perhaps inappropriately from time to time.

However it is important to set goals and milestones and here is to the next one in 2.5 years time when my job is done.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

11 years ago today

Hello readers it has been a while but 11 years ago today my life changed for ever.  I had a radical neck dissection which whilst left me with half a neck, no feeling on the left hand side of my face and what is left of my neck, no muscles, daily pain but more importantly I am alive and well.

I re-read this today and thought wow 11 years later I am still here and glad to be here.

11 years on I still get worried about my facial features, people find it really difficult to see the joins but one or two are able to pick them but apart from that I live and adjust because the treatment despite being brutal saved my life.

I just want to give those out there reading my blog because they are not well and hopefully wanting to understand what the journey you may be on or about to start on that there is light at the end of the tunnel and there is life after treatment.  11 years so far so remember keep attacking.

Nige x