Friday, May 27, 2005

written by Nigel - typed by his PA Pat - lol.

I have just returned from visiting Nigel and was amazed at how well he looks! The scar was as expected and he has a bit of a droop on the left side of his lip but the surgeon did warn us of that and hopefully, full feeling will return in time. The night before he went in I said ( stupid person!) that if he wanted he could write it all down and I would type it out for him...........Hmmmm - 2 pieces of A4 lined paper, written on both sides and anyone who has knowledge of Nigel's handwriting will, I am sure, feel for me! Anyway, here goes;
Day 6 - Thursday.
I arrived at 7.30 am. The journey from Starcross was one which touched the heart.Pancars(?) the super little taxi company which operates out of the village, were bang on time. The owners double as editors of the local parish magazine. It transpires that the husband, and my driver, is in remisssion with lung cancer.They give up the magazine this year which is a shame because it is certainly a racy little number and certainly pulls no punches.
08.45................I have been visited by the collected medical team at Otter Ward. The pain of the tonsil is subsiding as the realisation of my fate awaits. It is a strange feeling but I feel safer here, pain free and relaxed.I suppose it is about feeling safe. In my life I have never really felt safe, the fear of my childhood which I took into my youth and adulthood has gone. With the help I sought I am able to write this morning with strength and courage. I had fought all my life and the cancer has at last given me the chance to reflect on what the future may hold.
09.10...................Blood! What do they do with it! I have had more blood taken! I think somewhere there is a huge vat of it with Michael Howard lookalikes sipping at the edges. I have been told that I am having a far deeper operation than first expected which includes a deeper ( clean cut?) at my lymph glands. The MRI scan showed that rather than one lump there were several nodes that need removing. So be it! It is a strange feeling sat awaiting for the call, the first patient has gone down for his operation and I am next on the list. The future starts to-day - the removal of the cancerous cells is the start of my life, a life which has just begun ( and full of pain?)
10.55......................The men in blue arrive, no not the rozzers or Chelsea AFC but the porters. There is a sense of ? when they arrive, the reality is your treatment starts here. I quickly penned a note to William and Ellen, the concept of telling those you are close to and love is not new. When flying I always used to call Sarah and ask her to tell William as well as Sarah that I loved them. I climbed onto the trolley via a small set of stairs, the stairs and the climb to the trolley made me think of the climb to the guillotine of a French aristocrat , helpless, stripped of dignity and ready to have sharp implements applied to my neck. The short trip to the operating theatre was uneventful but also both porters were Liverpool fans who took great glee in telling me how fantastic the Champions league (?) the previous night. Whilst the trip was short my mind still brought back the guillotine feeling. The anaesthetic room is small, functional and full of modern computer systems. It is here that once again my mind confronted the reality of I was in this room to face my own mortality. The wait for the sleeping drug was one of the longest of my life but the staff can only be described as fantastic, making you feel at ease and drifting you off to sleep. Two occasions now the sleep has been deep but no (?) dreams, has anyone else had a dream whilst under? I woke about 16.00 and did the same as last week, grabbed at my neck and shouted "Yes"!. The next 30 minutes was surreal. Discussion took place with nurses on Star Wars and gardening, then a personal visit from Andy (?) , a theatre nurse who I went to school with! My face was numb and both my neck and my mouth were huge. The 1st instant (?) right more staples than Office World, a numb tongue and very little pain.
18.20.................I arrived back on the ward and a combination of injected drugs and self administration of morphine kept me pain free. The numbness of the slow relief anaesthetic in my throat kept the tonsil pain at bay, in fact - what pain! The slow release of the anaesthetic allows the wisdom tooth extract to go mainly pain free. Sarah had reminded me that when she went into to have Ellen that ask and use all the drugs. I can assure you that the morphine plunger was well used!
Day 6 ended in a blur.

Pat says; He has been told that they have got everything and it is looking good, just get the next stage over with and he will be back bugging us all! I will try and get in again to-morrow when , no doubt, he will have more of chairman mao's thoughts for me to type! Bye for now.


marta said...

What great news that they seem to have got everything out. A very positive outcome.Thank goodness for pain killers!! So its positive all the way now, start to look at recovery and improve your health. So shall get you a really good juicing book!!! and your away, that and your bread making machineXXXXX
Man of the Year x

mazzagee said...

Well done all at the hospital. Certainly a team of guardian angels.

You can move forward a seat in the bus now, What modern medicine can do eh! Now it is your turn to keep on with the fight, which will not be easy, but with hard work and determination you will get there.

WIth so much love and attention coming your way you cannot help but get better. Some people say there is so much bad in the world nowadays but fail to see the good that is going on right under their noses. There is certainly loads of good coming your way so don't fail to recognise it when it gets there.