The importance of goals in life.

When you have cancer you set yourself goals.

Short term, they relate to treatment "days left of treatment" or dates such as "start chemo" but post-cancer they take on a different meaning.  They are longer-term, examples are, go back to work, change lifestyle habit to help me not see a repeat, see my next birthday in or see my children turn 18.

In my case, it was 2 fold, in 2005 when my children were 6 and 4 I wanted to see them become adults at 18.  In the case of my son, that was 2 years ago and in the case of my daughter, that was this year.  I also set one other milestone, see them in their chosen career or University course.

Today is where my post-cancer goal-setting ends, post-cancer I have achieved mentally and physically what I set out to do back in the days of cancer treatment.

My daughter Ellen, today starts her nursing degree at Plymouth University.  Ellen is studying mental health nursing a challenging and rewarding degree which will lead to a caring career.  Tomorrow I fly to Tokyo to see my son, Will who is 3 years into a German and Japanese degree.

Having goals in life, business, personal or sport are important, without them you lose the focus, so never mind how small, important or big they are keeping them in focus,  Develop a lifestyle, work habits or attitude to deliver them.



In my case I changed my lifestyle, lost weight, give up drinking, developed a fitness regime and established my own business to take away the stresses of corporate life, surrounded myself with positive friends and family.

It does not mean it was easy, quick or perfect as regular readers will know that the pain of surgery follows me every day in my life, however it maintained a focus to be here when my children were growing up and my next goal is simple, to be around when I and they graduate, in 2021 and 2022.

#Keepattacking

Mental Health & Post Cancer - 14 years on.

14 years ago tomorrow I was told I have cancer of mouth & neck.  I struggle mentally each year, at the same time, over the next 2 weeks it will be a regression.  14 years ago I was told I would require two operations. One to remove cancer in my mouth. The other the removal of cancerous lymph glands. in my neck.  The latter operation resulting in the permanent removal of neck muscles, severing of nerves that would leave part of left arm inoperable for life, areas of my head and neck numbed forever and a head balancing on just balancing with only half a set of neck muscles.  This surgery combined with chemo and radiotherapy to my head should clear cancer.  If you have read this blog you will see it did. 

Whilst I am "cured" physically the mental scars continue.  Yes, I suffer daily pain, have a body that cannot operate in the same way it is formed because of a lack of muscles and movement and deaf on my left side as a result of radiotherapy.  My mouth needs extra care, my teeth are at risk of loss due to osteoradionecrosis.  Oh and a wonky smile! 


I do not moan about these challenges as I am alive.  Whilst physically I am in amazing shape and live with my challenges, mentally the next two weeks are like a living hell for me. 

I dread for the next 2 weeks.  I relive the journey from cancer discovery to radical neck dissection (a 7-day journey) and trapped in a quiet hospital ward (over the bank holiday) my life changed forever.  The weather becomes warmer, the smells of summer, the flowers and longer days I dread.  

I retreat in my private life, In my work I become very busy, I become more fit than I am.  My Fitbit tells me I am 40, when I am actually 55.  I cope, but sharing my aniexity helps despite there is nothing I want people to do but understand why I feel this way in the last 2 weeks in May every year. 

I am blessed I am here and alive, but in #MentalHealthAwareness week it is important to stress that whilst surgery and medical treatment are life savers the after effects of any life-changing treatment are often mental. 

Women, Men and Children have treatment daily.  We all deal with things differently.  I started this blog the day after finding out about cancer to express myself, tell you my emotions and stop the phone ringing. 

It is ok to say, I am anxious, but not scared about cancer, that is the last thing I worry about.  It is the memories, the tastes, the smells, the sounds, the anxiety of having to see the next two weeks out are a small price to pay for seeing my children reach adulthood and keep me here to see it.

So next time a friend, lover or workmate says they are anxious or under stress understand that life is not the movies but real and listen, support and protect.  That way we can all keep attacking!