Friday, June 10, 2005
Chose life - Day 22
Tortilla Chips 16
Raspberey Smoothies 2
Pain before 1700 5 after 7
Unsubscribed painkillers lent from somebody else 2!
Today was my Dads birthday. If he had lived he would of been 77! My father was a man who kept his illness too himself, never expected help from anyone and gallantly went through life in pain with little support despite all our efforts. It was not until the end of his life was he able to speak about WW2 experiences as a boy sailor and the pain I could see in his elderly eyes as he expressed the horror of what he saw and participated in during the bloody days. I am so glad I am not like my dad.
The sea theme is prominant in my life. As I sat in the stern seats of the Starcorss to Exmouth Ferry today I thought about how many father would have reacted to my illness. I know he would of been there me as an adult, unlike he was physically as a child when I most needed him. I know that despite all he witnessed happening to me as a child and depsite his failure to intervene I still loved and miss him today.
I had a great day with Pat and Ron who without knowing it have have taken over a surrogate "parental" role. I value their experience, love, support and guidance they have given me, and the trust I have in them has no bounds. today I had the opportunity to be rational, think logically and at last start working out what I am going to do in the next 8 weeks. I am so lucky to have them both and even when after 5pm I was happy to sit in front of Auzzie Rules football and try and work out the rules no one bothered me about from their super little dog Oscar.
I did manage to spend my Derby day winnings investing it in their old car which is in great nick and will be an easier drive to chemo and radiation therapy than the non powered steered camper van.
I now know my 1st dates for Chemo and Radiation, it all kicks off on the 2nd July 2005, with an overnight chemo session and 5 days of radiation with 2 more chemo sessions followed by daily radiation for everyday for 6 weeks. Ron has kindly offered and I have accepted the offer to stay with me the first week just so that I can assess how it goes and how I react. So things are moving forward. off for more raspberry smoothies and one downside of visiting the Roberts household is that I have found my old ebay account! Oh no!
Keep attcking night x Nigel