Wednesday, March 29, 2006

4 days and counting

It is four days to my run.
Today was not a good day, it transpires that the job offer and 2 weeks in Lowestoft then to Bournemouth turned out to be 3 months in Lowestoft and no chance of working in Dorset.
It was quite a blow, the chance to be close to my kids and even have them 2 nights at the weekend was blown. I have got use to up and downs but not prepared these days to put up with crap. I am my children are the most important things in my life and my aim is to be working back in Devon within the next 12 months.

It was good however the two faces I could see when I said no thanks to Lowestoft was Will and Ellen. Cancer has changed my priorities whether it is 6 months, 16 months or 6 years I have left here they will come first. I think that is why I feel sometimes I am destined to be single.

I had one thing in the World, I hate, Cancer, I fucking hate it. It is like a predator that sneaks up to every waking day. You park it but it reminds you when your sleeping, drinking, eating, walking, siting, and running. I need to run to help those never go through the pain.

I had a long discussion with Sarah tonight who said that people would not think bad of me if I pull out of the CR race on Sunday. I must admit I felt stressed, tired and certainly no fit shape to run 10k.

I have been thinking hard all day one to sleep on.



No comments: