Saturday, April 15, 2006

Life feels good

The roller coaster of life goes on today was a good day.

I woke up no children getting into bed and wanting a hug, it was like post traumatic stress the silence when I woke up at 0830!

In the shower I finally realised that for years that I have had this perception and expectations of life that failed to match up with reality. Since the cancer I have found new experiences that have enhanced life and finally I realised that the bar of life needs to be set lower and enjoy the life you are given and seize everyday.

I got the bike out to take to Exeter, caught the train and biked around town, wow it felt good, I felt a freedom, wind around my head, a freedom that my legs and arms work and the bike goes quickly. I am amazed by my fitness the run was good, but today the bike ride was pure class.

I had a great coffee and chat with Sheila, then off to my Liberian Democrat friend Vanessa. V is standing for council something which in my past I have done, but alas failed to get elected, something which I have kept firmly in my Ferrymans locker.

I was part of V's door knocking team, ringing peoples bell and selling the message. Of course I had the people who said no thank you, like I was selling double glazing, and the bloke who slammed the door in my face rather rudely, I put him down as a do not know :) The whole process made me feel human, here I was doing what I do best talking to people listening to their issues, lives, important things to them, rather minor compared with cancer, but it was important them and that counted. I talked to people about gardening, railways, car engines nothing to do with dull old politics, but life, a life I am lucky to have. I had adult company at last, talking issues, laughing and had fun. Of course I asked the question can V rely on your vote she is good sort, it went well.

We retired to V's and she opened a red, for those who know I cannot drink wine, but it was smooth. Cancer took away wine for me, it may have aided cancer but wine was a no no because of the burning throat. I was envious V has a fantastic rambling house, full of character, full of people, and full of warmth and love. I am not saying it was a 1960's hippy commune but it did remind me of my days in the "greenfields" at Glastonbury. The collective warmth that it exudes was clear to see and feel.

I was envious of V's house it has everything I want in mine, warmth, charm and friendship, and of course the huge kitchen table where we sat for hours talking and laughing. The kitchen table came alive at tea time with V son, Stefan, and friends George and Sam I felt alive.

I cycled back to the station to catch the train home knowing full well that life has more to offer than the safety cocoon I have built her in Starcross it is time to move on, set the barrier lower and just enjoy, thanks to Chris, Sheila, V and the gang at Thurlow Towers for the does of reality which I now know life is such fun.

Keep attacking

No comments: