Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Day 53 - God is with me, well Mrs Doyle

As the chemo sickness recedes and just leaves the metal of the toxin in my taste I am able to get back to some semblance of normality. The radiation theraphy has taken it its toll today left me very burnt and lop sided through the muscles stiffening in my surgery hacked shoulder. Mundane tasks must go on and these tasks include selecting a new Mrs Doyle, those who do not know the term Mrs Doyle, she is the cleaning and woman that does, and the rock of Craggy Island parochial house and latterly looked after Father Ted, Jack and Dougal.

I spotted an advert in my local shop last week, "Olives cleaning service" Now Olive gave me ideas of a rather round youngish lady, smoking fags and married to Arthur who had a motorcycle and side car in on the buses. I called the cleaning service hotline only to be greeted by a younger well spoken woman, who took a message for Olive. I was lying in the bath this morning, be moaning Mrs Doyle and the uselessness of placing adverts in local shops. I had previously tried to buy an outboard motor once and kept ringing the guy to buy it but he kept on cancelling the appointment to purchase. He is still is advertising now! Perhaps its a Starcross sport? Cutting the long story short! I am not sure the man has grasped the concept of retailing or just obtains sexual gratification by listening to advertisers phone calls? You know a phone pervert, heavy breather type, now that is so 1970s!

Olive called just seconds after getting out of the bath and divine intervention was at hand.

I agreed to meet Olive at 2pm at home to inspect, put on her rubber gloves and charge me the earth. Olive was not what I expected, slight, young, plain and a sort of Mary Ingles for those who remember Little House on the prairie, or a character out of the Village film. I introduced Olive to the house, bugs, my rope collection, dirt and crappy moments of my life and we sat down to discuss terms, references and cash!

It was then I realised she had a destiny to save me. So tell me Olive what do you do for a living, well I work in Boots part time, the rest of the time I clean peoples houses and I work for GOD!

Now those who know me and previous postings, my biggest fear during illness was being saved by God. However, being the liberal I am, I asked how do you help GOD thinking this is a wind up, I was then treated to the double whammy " Well I help people understand the bible, as I am a Jevoahs Witness"

Well OLD MAN lets see how GOD can use a vacuum cleaner, because there is bugger all in my life to thank him for, and the events of last week he owes the World a few pints!

Get your elbow grease out LORD you are now my servant and pass the fags, booze and playboys

1 comment:

battypatty said...

Ah go on, go on, go on.(another Craggy Island saying) ok, it loses a lot in the telling - lol. Did Father Ted ever get overseas I wonder? Now I have forgotten what I was going to write - grrrr. I shall just feck off ( more CI ). lovely party, by the way - she is a beauty, must take after her auntie.